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Why do you think the aliens invaded?


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"yes soon all the pancakes will be ....minnnneee!"

Now a number of folks will be less terrified than they should be about the attack on pancakes. But if your name is Commissar Pancakes...well it's war, baby!

Sgt thothkins: I am my own master! I'm a forum avatar, not a number!

Cdr Gorlom: Shut up Number #18 and get out of the Chinook!

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somewhere outside a dark PANK holding cell 3 weeks later

AGENT D: "how does he do it everytime i go into question him...(sniff) i come out crying?" (sniff)

AGENT F: "I know (sniff) its like hes not human (sniff)

AGENT D: "Maybe he's psychic? (sniff)

VOICE FROM CELL: "No thats not it Agent D"

AGENT F: "okay (sniff) i'm off to tourt...erh i mean question thothkins again"

AGENT D: " think if we leave the cell door open (sniff) mordenkien will just go?"

AGENT F : "lets hope so..."

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we find ourselves in an english country sitting room ..the back of a red leather easy chair slowly turns towards us..revealing a smiling figure an aura of power surrounds him as he holds the sacred "monster manual" and gazes down on the board set out on the desk ..figures....pawns really..each repersenting a person linked to them by some mystical power....

"ah thothkins..soon my friend soon....gorlom approaches..and then we will see if your famous humour will save you from his debate power...and if not then the's always the commisar...(insert manic laugh)"

..and so we leave the seat of ultimate evil as he ponders how to download from desura..and plots his continued domination....but remember kids its just a story......isn't it?

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"yes soon all the pancakes will be ....minnnneee!"

Now a number of folks will be less terrified than they should be about the attack on pancakes. But if your name is Commissar Pancakes...well it's war, baby!

Sgt thothkins: I am my own master! I'm a forum avatar, not a number!

Cdr Gorlom: Shut up Number #18 and get out of the Chinook!

my orgianal post (before i deleted it) outlined the aliens evil distraction plan too cover ther real goal of stealing all the earths pancakes

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Well, the beard is the same and I imagine that Mr Olivier is looking at a giant scrying pool with a monster manual in it.

"I'll just move this mortal model to get it to turn the page. Heh heh heh."

Can I just put dibs on an Aliens v Gods game please?

"In 1976 the WOW signal was received. Earth's scientist's waited. Earth's military prepared for the worst.

In 1979 the armada came. Defenceless, Earth could only pray.

Which was just what the Greek Gods were waiting for!

See Hermes race across the Battlescape!

Watch Cdr Zeus hurl Lightning Bolts

Say "Yuck!" as Hephaestus unleashes the Flammenwerfer of the Gods!"

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my orgianal post (before i deleted it) outlined the aliens evil distraction plan too cover ther real goal of stealing all the earths pancakes

January 21, 2013: Alien craft deploy invasion troops and seize world supply of pancakes, baring a single stack wearing a large, strange, red hat.

January 22, 2013: Metal wreckage rains down upon the Earth's surface. Numerous scientists around the globe announce that, to a ship, every single Alien craft had exploded.

January 28, 2013: Following the confusion of the Alien armada, numerous world governments as well as the UN security council receive a message from an unknown source, the only mark of identification being that the notes are complete drenched in maple syrup. They read "They were found wanting. You are next."

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"The first one seems to be more appropriate. That distinct comissar's glance.. dripping marple syrup... i've yet to be able to convey this feeling. "

For me the second one speaks of an impending mercilessness and grim determination. The first is something that isn't quite sane.

Although it's far from a contemporary source, Andreas Backer wrote that the nightmares of such a thing's passing were almost as bad as the carnage it inflicted, in his 1823 monograph on the Pancake Purges of Prussia (Half-Baked Press).

The slow decent of the syrup, that never, ever fell to earth haunted many communities until the 1750s when small delicatessens were once allowed to operate, under license, in many towns.

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  • 2 weeks later...

As far as we understand our planet we enjoy the benefits of habitable eco-systems, fresh water, and a means to produce foods. These things would be the most likely reason for an alien invasion.

I’d argue that if it’s just about resources, an alien race probably wouldn’t bother pillaging Earth. As we know by now, the galaxy is teeming in worlds to exploit, and many in our cosmic neighborhood will contain similar materials to Earth. There are far easier pickings out there rather than landing on a planet filled with a civilization that takes great pride in building big weapons that could hinder attempts at mining the planet.

Globally there are now approximately 23,000 nuclear warheads.

Between 1945 and 1990, more than 70,000 total warheads were developed, in over 65 different varieties, ranging in yield from around .01 kilotons (such as the man-portable Davy Crockett shell) to the 25 megaton B41 bomb.

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessary solving of an existing one. ~Einstein

I personally believe the aliens want to use the one resource on earth that is more rare then anything they have. Then "enemy" wants to help us by convincing us to join them or enslavement by attrition. Otherwise if a space fairing civilization has any common sense they would be better off dropping an anti-matter bomb and just glass the planet rather then use brute force for some iron and nickle.

Half if not all their troops are cloned and would most likely suffer from cloning degradation. Perhaps they are advanced enough to stop/repair this and perhaps that measure involves us.

Taking this concept farther, why would the aliens have any interest in preventing inadvertent human extinction by excessive in-atmosphere antimatter bomb use? After all, they obviously place low value on human life if they don’t mind throwing us into a costly war. One intriguing possibility is that perhaps the invaders have no qualms about destroying humanity, but fear punishment from a third-party species or being noticed by a third-party species. Bringing out their big guns (mass invasion, orbital strikes, Antimatter bombs) would Identify their presence.. not just to us but to other parties where the aliens we know are competing against. We are their trump card one way or another.

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Maybe they don't have all of those planet devastating weapons because they are a signatory of the Rigel accords.

As has been mentioned though the only thing a planet such as ours has that is not (as far as we know) more easily available in other locations is life.

Want water, minerals, gases etc then you find the right comet/ ice moon/ gas giant and go to town.

No need to fight a war over that.

You want easy access to a vast array of genetic material, sentient slaves, protein supplements or whatever then we are a more obvious choice.

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