It would be a simple compromise to include the auto-disengage system, as described before. You could then have a toggle for "hardcore aerial combat", which would still have the auto-disengage system, but applies an X% (50%, 75%, and 100% for the masochists) chance that the aircraft is unsuccessful in the maneuver and is destroyed instead. It makes the game harder, yes, but that's the point. And if funds turn out to be an issue, have a small multiplier towards aircraft purchase depending on how much risk you're willing to take (for example, and not doing any real math, a multiplier of only .9x for 50% damage, .7x for 75% and .5x for 100%).
Edit: I like the idea of aircraft being an investment rather than something disposable, and this gives flexibility to the player based on how important they feel aerial combat is to their experience.
