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MLGertzert

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Posts posted by MLGertzert

    Half-Life 3 Announcement!

    in Off-Topic

    Posted

    >2024

    >Playing Halo 43 on my Xbox Two

    >Doing a couch co-op playthrough with my best friend on the hardest difficulty (normal)

    >Kill the boss at the end of the first stage, finally ready to buy the DLC for the next level

    >Friend sticks his fist out and says "brofist"

    >Before I can correct his sexist slang, my Kniect One stands up and scans both of us

    >"PATRIARCHY BRAINWASHING DETECTED"

    >Kinect walks over to the couch and begins force feeding us both Mountain Dew and Doritos

    >On screen reminder tells us to check our privilege every 15 minutes to ensure safe gameplay

    >Shout "McDonalds!" at the screen to continue the game

    >30 minutes later, the delivery guy arrives with my Filet-o-fish

    >"That'll be 14.95... plus tip!"

    Half-Life 3 Announcement!

    in Off-Topic

    Posted

    >lights go down

    >crowd stirs

    >a 3 adorns the screen

    >it's orange

    >the ground begins to shake

    >the crowd whips into a frenzy--he comes.

    >our lord and savior holds up his hand, halting the ongoing orgy going on in the audience

    >his chin fat majestically flaps in the AC cooled breeze

    >I am happy to announce...

    >several men choke themselves to death as the rest of their life could not possibly match this moment

    >Half Life 3

    >literal eat shattering sobs of happiness

    >for the Wii U

    >Gaben is handed a Wii U and turns around to the screen

    >gameplay displays

    >it's cartoony, almost anime visual quality

    >Gordon speaks in the first 5 seconds about how he needs to lock down that generator

    >Objective: Lock down the Generator flashes on your screen in bright yellow text

    >a golden path lights up on the ground leading you to the generator

    >the enemies are generic soldiers, not even combine

    >the gunplay is extremely dumbed down to the point the enemies will stand in full view and line up their shot for over 3 seconds

    >Gordon yells "Yeah, Headshot!"

    >Suddenly 2 player flashes on the screen with "Join"

    >Jeremy comes out on stage

    >he joins the game

    >he's G-man

    >Gordon and G-man hold off the soldiers playfully bantering the entire time

    >generator is saved

    >Level Complete! comes up on screen

    >it compares killstreaks and buddy saves between both players

    >The camera pans around to Gaben's face

    >tears stain his face

    >all he can muster is a barely audible "I'm sorry"

    Name your most memorable X-COM experience.

    in Off-Topic

    Posted

    The title says it all. Whether it was a time when everyone got shot coming off the transport, or the last soldier was able to kill 10 aliens, let's hear it.

    Mine was probably a terror mission where the transport was surrounded by sectoids, and the tank was covering the entrance, and I thought it would be useful to crouch everyone behind the tank so they wouldn't get controlled, but somehow, the aliens controlled people in there, and let's just say that the tank was the only survivor.

    X-COM: UFO Defense LP

    in Off-Topic

    Posted

    I just looked at the analytics for the first episode and people the majority of the viewers only watched for like a minute before clicking off. I guess I know why the recent episodes only get a fraction of the views the first episode did.

    X-COM: UFO Defense LP

    in Off-Topic

    Posted

    Why you take so many risks? Attacking large UFO's without armor, sending people to explore instead of tanks, etc...

    I phucked up and turned the alien research mod, and honestly, I think I'll start a new game.

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