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>lights go down >crowd stirs >a 3 adorns the screen >it's orange >the ground begins to shake >the crowd whips into a frenzy--he comes. >our lord and savior holds up his hand, halting the ongoing orgy going on in the audience >his chin fat majestically flaps in the AC cooled breeze >I am happy to announce... >several men choke themselves to death as the rest of their life could not possibly match this moment >Half Life 3 >literal eat shattering sobs of happiness >for the Wii U >Gaben is handed a Wii U and turns around to the screen >gameplay displays >it's cartoony, almost anime visual quality >Gordon speaks in the first 5 seconds about how he needs to lock down that generator >Objective: Lock down the Generator flashes on your screen in bright yellow text >a golden path lights up on the ground leading you to the generator >the enemies are generic soldiers, not even combine >the gunplay is extremely dumbed down to the point the enemies will stand in full view and line up their shot for over 3 seconds >Gordon yells "Yeah, Headshot!" >Suddenly 2 player flashes on the screen with "Join" >Jeremy comes out on stage >he joins the game >he's G-man >Gordon and G-man hold off the soldiers playfully bantering the entire time >generator is saved >Level Complete! comes up on screen >it compares killstreaks and buddy saves between both players >The camera pans around to Gaben's face >tears stain his face >all he can muster is a barely audible "I'm sorry"