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I present to you a poem in free verse: HNNNNF. Night time. Fuggin'. TERROR MISSION. SO MUCH HIDDEN MOVEMENT. Ugh. And then. UNNNNF. DO NOT SHOOT MY GUYS, NPCS. And then. AGH. REAPERS. What is that NOISE!? THEY ARE DEAD NOW. STOP RUNNING AWAY. Thanks so much, NPC soldier, for shooting my sniper. Four turns in a row. Making her very dead. You win this time, GUYS WHO ARE "HELPING" ME. Your help is the worst help. End.

>lights go down >crowd stirs >a 3 adorns the screen >it's orange >the ground begins to shake >the crowd whips into a frenzy--he comes. >our lord and savior holds up his hand, halting the ongoing orgy going on in the audience >his chin fat majestically flaps in the AC cooled breeze >I am happy to announce... >several men choke themselves to death as the rest of their life could not possibly match this moment >Half Life 3 >literal eat shattering sobs of happiness >for the Wii U >Gaben is handed a Wii U and turns around to the screen >gameplay displays >it's cartoony, almost anime visual quality >Gordon speaks in the first 5 seconds about how he needs to lock down that generator >Objective: Lock down the Generator flashes on your screen in bright yellow text >a golden path lights up on the ground leading you to the generator >the enemies are generic soldiers, not even combine >the gunplay is extremely dumbed down to the point the enemies will stand in full view and line up their shot for over 3 seconds >Gordon yells "Yeah, Headshot!" >Suddenly 2 player flashes on the screen with "Join" >Jeremy comes out on stage >he joins the game >he's G-man >Gordon and G-man hold off the soldiers playfully bantering the entire time >generator is saved >Level Complete! comes up on screen >it compares killstreaks and buddy saves between both players >The camera pans around to Gaben's face >tears stain his face >all he can muster is a barely audible "I'm sorry"

I think this webstrip will resonate with the developers who visit this board.

I assume you've all seen the KS video. Well, if you thought your day was gonna suck, think again. /steals thothkins' slogan Sorry if this is spammy, I guess the excitement's getting to me.